Good morning kiddies, Buster here. I suppose that I’m a tad overdue in commenting on BEER. Guess I just got so carried away with the multitude of problems we moderns are finding for ourselves that I completely forgot about the good things of life. BEER certainly fits the latter description, it is nutritious, tastes great, and surely enhances social conversation. There are even many good songs about BEER and the drinking thereof, but, of course, not as many as there are about Swedish Aquavit. BEER also goes very well with some foods, such as Steamed Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs, Maryland crab cakes, Steamed Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs, Maryland crab cakes, as well as with pizza!
As it happens, my dear old Auntie was coaching her Rugby team, the Boise Nemesis, recently and due to the opposing team’s inability to get to the game, the squad, along with some other players from a couple other local teams, embarked on an unusual variation of the standard game. It has been dubbed, “BEER-IN-HAND Rugby” (BIHR) and should be copyrighted by the Nemesis team.
Basically, this variation is very similar to standard Rugby, except that all players must hold a can of BEER in one hand while using just one hand/arm to either hold the ball or tackle an opposing player.
Obviously, there needs to be some adjustment to the standard rules and penalties to accommodate the added aspect of holding a BEER-IN-HAND. Since these adjustments have not actually been codified, I’ll just have to do the best an old hound dog can do to relate them for you.
First of all, all players must be barefooted. I suppose this rule is intended to protect expensive foot ware from being damaged by spilled beer. Beer used in the BIHR game of course must be brewed and canned in Idaho by the teams sponsor, the Payette Brewing Company. A special penalty may be assessed by the Sir for excessive spillage. The term “Sir” designating the referee-type person seems to be one of those pesky throw-backs to the days of the good old boys when everyone with grey hair or bars on their shoulders was called, “Sir,” regardless of his or her gender. At any rate, another penalty may be assessed for running too fast for the Sir to reasonably keep up with the action. The Sir, of course, has the authority to establish new rules and/or penalties whenever, in his or her opinion, they are required. There being no access to replay video, all calls by the Sir are final and are barred from being protested by an aggrieved player or team.
The game may be called for darkness or extremely sloppy field conditions due to excessive spillage persisting after repeated penalty calls.
Additional information regarding BIHR and/or trying out for the team for the 2015 Season may be obtained by visiting the Boise Women’s Nemesis Rugby Team’s Facebook page.
Well, we got a positive start this morning with happy news about Beer and the wonderful things that can happen while drinking the old nectar of the barley and hops. So, I’d of course want to continue with more good news.
Fortunately, that investigation we mentioned last week regarding Credit Suisse has been resolved with the bank pleading guilty to a criminal charge that it helped wealthy Americans dodge U.S. taxes for decades. The bank even admitted, among other things, to hand-delivering cash from Swiss accounts to stateside customers. The bank agreed to pay $2.5 billion to a bunch of Federal and New York State agencies. However, it was not required to turn over a list of “suspected” tax evaders. We’re not quite sure why our vigilant prosecutors did not insist on learning the names of the “suspected” perps, but can understand the Swiss banks desire not to embarrass their customers. My old pappy remembers visiting distant relatives in Switzerland back when the 100 year ban on absinthe was still in effect. The Swiss apparently felt that the ban was only effected due to farmers complaints that their peasant workers could make absinthe too cheaply and thus were often unable to work due to excessive reveling. So, ignoring the ban, most Swiss made the delightful elixir anyway. So, you can readily understand their hesitancy to call out their poor clients who were probably just tricked into allowing their lawyers to use questionable “tax avoidance tactics” to lower their tax bills.
Another item mentioned last week about good old Bank of America ponying up $9.3 billion for their misdeeds with Fanny Mae & Freddie Mac is definitely good news for our pesky budget deficit. My old pappy’s gonna see if the Justice Department will share with us citizens just where that cash will be applied when it is received. Gosh, it’s nice to know also that our dear old Bank can afford to just write a check for $9.3B. It stings just a bit when our savings deposits don’t earn any interest, but it’s still nice to see that our deal old Fed is keeping our banks strong!
Also, on the good side of the ledger last week under the heading “Hope springs eternal in the human breast”: “A recent Gallup poll found that half of all working Americans think they will have enough money to retire comfortably.”
On a purely personal note — more good news — we have a brand new Basset Hound in the neighborhood! He is nine week old Scott Gonzalez III, and lives just a block away from old pappy and me.
Hope y’all had a swell Memorial Day holiday,
Buster & Pap
Ha ha, I love those rules, although they could be improved if the Sir carried out ref duties from within a palanquin –with cupholders! –And it was navigated amongst the players by four barefoot bearers, –with their own cupholders of course.
Well, pappy had to look up “palanquin,” but yes, that is a great idea. I’ll be sure to suggest it to the Sir for the next BIHR match!!