Blog #80: The 2016 Republicrat Convention

Doggone, if the good old Republicrats didn’t pull off an exciting extravaganza, with equal parts Hillary bashing and false bravado. The loverly spectacle was appropriately held in the Quicken Loans Arena, and good old Fox “News,” abandoning any pretense of impartiality, had their logo all over the meeting hall.

Throughout the entire party, speaker after speaker reiterated the Trumpster’s promise to make Amurica safe, strong, proud, work, first, one, and, of course, Great, again. The nasty business was left mostly to the attack dog types, with good old Rudy ranting on and on about all that is wrong with the country as a result of Prez Obama and Secretary Clinton. Naturally, ISIS and the whole disastrous middle east situation being all their fault, with never a mention of old George W’s Iraq regime-change containing absolutely no clue on what to do in the ugly aftermath!

Mikey Pence’s remarks were very interesting, especially his proclamation that he is a Christian, Conservative, and Republicrat, in that order. The cheerful lad has obviously not read the first Amendment to our Constitution and its prohibition of the making of any law respecting the establishment of religion, or he thinks old 
Tom Jefferson’s interpretation as “separating Church and State” is just bunk. Apparently, the Don will be of like mind since he so effusively thanks, as he calls them, the “E Van gelicals” for backing him, and he’s gonna make sure they keep their “tax exempt” status no matter how much politicking they do. Goodness, is some sort of revival of the Inquisition really possible?

The Donald’s family members spoke glowingly of his good nature and many accomplishments, though one wouldn’t expect any less from a group basking in the lap of luxury. His daughter, Ivanka, performed a stirring commercial for her good old Dad!

Finally, in his elongated, teleprompter assisted acceptance speech, our man did a credible job of acting “Presidential,” only quaintly referring to his “opponent” as that person who, by rights, should already be in jail.

Ticking off his planned accomplishments, he will (on day one – January 20, 2017, or for sure in the first 100 days): Be the Law and Order guy bringing renewed respect for our police, make sure all our families have the guns to protect themselves, Build that Great Border Wall (the patrol agents endorsed him), make sure “Illegals wake up to U.S. laws being enforced, rebuild our “depleted” military (he has experience from his New York Military Academy schooling), chase down and destroy all those Radical Islamic terrorists fixing the Middle East turmoil while he’s at it (failed to mention our own terrorists who bomb women’s health clinics), protect our LGBTQ’s from foreign terrorists (same exception for our white supremacists), ban immigration until we can identify all the bad guys, take care of our veterans (making sure none of the upper class kids need to become one of them), Stand with Israel, bring our steelworkers’ and coal miners (note the placards: “Trump Digs Coal”) jobs back from Mexico and China (stopping our corporations from moving their manufacturing to those places), renegotiate all of our trade deals, take care of all those black and latino folk left behind by Obama, straighten out the Supreme Court so it upholds our laws and Constitution, reduce and simplify all our taxes and get rid of all those pesky “regulations” that are strangling our big corporations, give all kids “school choice,” take care of all that horrible “student debt,” rein in all those “special interest” groups (especially those refusing to fund my campaign) and oh, yes, get rid of that useless “Obama Care!” We may have missed something, but, rest assured, the good old Donald won’t!!

Old pap can’t remember him mentioning old Teddy who was booed off the stage a couple nights prior, though he will undoubtedly eventually suggest a jail cell for old “lyin’” Ted, as well.

At one point, smiling like The Cheshire Cat, he stated that he “knows” the “rigged and corrupt system,” then proclaiming, “So, I, alone, can fix it!” He mentioned old Bernie a couple times, and in fact, regarding the economy he and Bernie are in some agreement. The major difference, and it’s a significant one, is that Bernie is real, while Mr. Trump seems stuck in his “reality” show.

The old con artist, one could argue, gave a near-perfect speech last night, 99.44% Horse Hockey, but delivered with passion and feeling, and (Believe It) he’s gonna bring the good old U.S.of A. back – YUGE! Oh, yes, he’s gonna govern with consideration and compassion for everyone, but the greatest to our own U.S.of A. citizens. In conclusion, our hero “humbly and gratefully” accepted the nomination of the Republicrat Party for President of the United States, adding, “I’ll be your Champion.” “I’m With You!”
Please, gag us with a silver spoon, Bus and old pap.

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