Blog #100: Man the Lifeboats

As my multitude of fans across the globe are aware, I convinced my old pappy to help me start this blog as an attempt to inform our telly-dazed fellow Amuricans about the causes and depth of our apparent decline in both optimism and enthusiasm. Old pap and I did a number of blogs on economic and social issues, then sadly got a tad overly engaged in commenting on the bloody (our brit term applied) presidential election. Some time ago, I renamed our two political parties (Republicrats and Demoblicans) because we were unable to find even a farthing’s worth of difference between them.

As the election from Hades bore on, and finally concluded with rather unimaginable results, we realized that, in fact, there may be some minor, but still discernible, variances in both their visions and methods. For instance, when the Demobs took over, they forced through the Affordable Care Act, which brought health insurance to millions of our citizens who had been left out of this important necessity. Now, in 2017, the very first measure the Repubs took was an attempt to declaw the Congressional Ethics Office. Now, even though the ACA (Obamacare for those who get their “news” on Fox) is not a perfect law (few are), it certainly could be considered an action that was a bit more socially responsible than the GOP’s top priority plan to reduce the effectiveness of one of the few activities designed to keep the “swamp” a little less polluted.

For his part, the Yuge Orange Mass used his now infamous Twitter account to divert the fools, but only temporarily (he merely tweeted, paraphrasing) should not be your 1st priority, take care of my bad stuff first)! Naturally, the old con man saved the over-anxious lawmakers because further degrading their ethics was not politically a particularly adept move, and can better be done later, preferably in the dark of night. Those excitable Repubs, finding themselves in the catbird seat for the first time in a while, don’t seem to have our new PEOTUS’s level of stealthy instincts which are part and parcel of con artistry.

Next, those boys (and a few girls) are fairly frothing at the mouth to “get after” old Obama’s signature accomplishment, the ACA. This task promises to be a tad more complicated than they may have imagined….So, yesterday, they held a big Republicrat news conference together with old Mikey Pence, our illustrious new VP-Elect, to kick off their new #1 priority, and they sure can talk a good game. At the end though, when asked by the press just what they had in mind for replacing the ACA, after 7plus years of criticism, good old Paul Ryan could only muster a sincere, “Don’t worry, we have a plan, we have plenty of ideas!”

When these wizards move on to their other big “plans,” they’ll be using their favorite word: “PRIVATIZATION” – The practice of awarding government work contracts to large, corrupt corporations and aspiring “entrepreneurs” in order that lawmakers at all levels of government may be enriched through kickbacks in one form or another. (old pappy’s dictionary)

Well, onward and upward, “Making America Great Again.” Will the Great Orange Mass share the info he claims to have that we don’t with the rest of us? We don’t know anymore than y’all do, but old Mikey mentioned in the news conference that he and his new boss are going to have a briefing on Friday with our various spook agency honchos. So, maybe that means we’ll just have to wait a while longer than the “Tuesday or Wednesday” old Donaldo promised. Oh, the awful suspense! Naturally, the gross one blames the agencies for the delay, and bashes them all with his “twitter stick.”

Can’t give those Demoblicans too much credit, though, instead of working hard on their own plans to solve our multitude of problems, they’re still out there griping about the election, and thinking up catchy slogans saying the Republicrats will, “Make America Sick Again.” Sad!
For a tiny change of pace, and under the caption: “You think you got troubles?”

The astute leaders over in Inja’s sunny clime decided to “reform” their cash currency by eliminating some apparently very useful denominations. This move has hamstrung their entire agricultural economy since farmers are used to paying for seeds, fertilizer, supplies, and their workers with the eliminated currency. Great managerial action. Sure sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Come on, pappy, we done enough damage for one day, Buster.

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