Blog #161: An Urgent, nay, Crucial Plea

An urgent plea to Demoblicans & Whomsomever else might be willing to assist in saving our dear old USofA, currently beset with a dark plague of doubt and fear which is being constantly reinforced by our mad Would-be Dictator.

Executive Summary: JUST FORGET ABOUT the nasty old moron currently residing at 1600 PA Avenue and concentrate all your efforts on TAKING OVER OUR CONGRESS IN NOVEMBER. If you’re really, really busy, just skip the rest of this note, and go to our companion blog, “SAVING OUR GOOD OLD USofA.”

If y’all have been attempting to keep yourselves informed, you may well be aware that I renamed our 2 political parties some time ago, due to the fact that I was unable to discern even a farthing’s worth of difference between them. Howsomever, now, due mostly to the Republicrats even refusing to discharge their constitutional duty of impeachment, we are of the confirmed opinion that you dispirited souls are, at this moment, our dear old USofA’s only hope for rectifying the unimaginably horrendous mistake made by our electoral system and the resulting horrors being visited upon our land and institutions by our “president” and his complicit Republicrat cohorts! Hence, old pap and I are urging our friends and anyone else who will listen to not only vote for your candidates, but also do all in their power to aid you in your mission of replacing the Republicrat control of our Congress.

You may very well ask, “Who’s gonna pay any attention to an old hound dog babbling about economics, politics, and beer?” Well, as they say on the talking head shows, “THAT’S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION,” and the answer is not encouraging. Howsomever, let me remind you that I happen to be a Basset Hound Doggie, and our olfactory facility is second only to the Blood Hound. Further, I might point out that I was able to sniff out the repulsive odor of a pack of rodents gathering for the reprehensible purpose of enlisting help from Mr. Putin to reverse the trend of our presidential election dynamics way before Mr. Mueller was appointed. I also diagnosed the underlying cause of Mr. Trump’s despicable behavior: Excessive Potty Praise Syndrome (EPPS). The medical establishment has yet to confirm now-president Trump’s mental incapacity!

Now, my old pappy, who is also my chief researcher and typist, has been willing to cut the old First Fool some slack because of his mentally debilitating affliction, and it is probably true that he can’t help himself, but in my opinion he could and should seek help. Of course, I must admit, such a course is easier said than done; consider the agony a person addicted to alcohol must suffer before finally admitting he has a problem and seeking assistance. Further complicating Mr. T’s situation, the American Psychological Association refuses to recognize his insanity because no one is able to examine him.

So, the crazy old dude is what he is; the most loathsome human being that you are likely to find in this somewhat enlightened age. Hence, you old Demoblicans are just going to need to ignore him, and get on with winning the House and the Senate. We’ve looked at your stated “platform” on your web site, and can only say it strikes us as a veritable litany of platitudes, not terribly exciting. As a matter of fact, you should take a glance at the RNC’s platform, just for aesthetics; theirs has even less substance than your’s!

So, finally, we come to the main reason for this note. You guys seriously need some sound, practical and POSITIVE ideas to tell us old, long-suffering Amuricans that you are indeed thinking of our welfare, and have some thoughts on how to improve our lot. Our suggestions are being blogged today also; there aren’t many, and most are just plain old common sense, or perhaps uncommon sense in today’s unhappy world, and most are what old pap and I would call, “no brainers:” A few are a tad more challenging, but, we believe, very important.

Our suggestion is to take the “easy” ones first, and leave the really controversial stuff, such as the Nation Service Requirement, for a bit later. These are positive measures which will help us all, and, importantly show us that y’all have something on your minds besides our current miserable administration!

Please, please, our feckless Demoblicans, pull yourselves together….now, we, as everyone else in our good old USofA, have heard of your all new “Culture of Corruption” campaign. That’s great; if anyone pays any attention, they need to understand how much more rotten the Moron and his pals have made old Washington, D.C. Howsomever, please take a gander at our progressive suggestions which retain some good fiscal conservatism. They may not be as progressive as old Bernie would like, but they should be a tad more appealing than just Trump-bashing, though he certainly deserves every bit of it.

One more thought, for what it’s worth, find yourselves a solid, honest, and charismatic spokesperson; we haven’t seen one in your gang for a long time. Might be a long-shot, but somehow Mikey Avenatti comes to mind. He’s the equal to the old con man on tv, and, obversely, he’s a relatively straight shooter! Of course, there’s always good old Bernie, maybe paired with Elizabeth.


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